Dracula 3D – This Movie Does Not Exist

Dracula 3d is a 2013 movie. Allegedly. I watched it back in 2013. Allegedly.

To this day I still could not tell you how I discovered Dracula 3D. I don’t believe anyone told me about it because in 2013, people genuinely cared for one another. I also don’t believe I found it through a website because I am still fully convinced that it’s a shared hallucination between Dusty Evely and I.

Movie Reviews Reviews

The Beach House

Cosmic Horror
Director: Jeffrey A. Brown
Starring: Liana Liberato and Noah Le Gros

Movie Reviews Reviews

Cobweb is an enjoyable Halloween Fairy Tale that doesn’t quite stick the landing

Cobweb is a 2023 movie directed by written by Chris Thomas Devlin, directed by Samuel Bodin and starring Lizzy Caplan, Cleopatra Coleman, Antony Starr and Woody Norman.

Movie Reviews Reviews

Demon House: Zak Bagans can fuck all the way off and stay there

This was basically an overlong episode of his old Ghost Hunters tv show.

I’m not going to do an in depth review of this, there are plenty of those out there. Even though I only have myself to blame, I’m just writing this to vent because of the time I wasted watching it.

I’m sick as shit. I’m on the couch looking for something to watch and decide to give this a chance because I’m tired of scrolling through things. My biggest hope is that it’s at least watchable. I figure at movie length, it can’t just be an “after-school special” version of his god-awful tv show. I was wrong.

“But Shawn,” I hear you ask. “If you didn’t like his tv show why did you put the movie on?” Good question. I guess I was expecting something different? That’s entirely on me. I’ll take this one on the chin.

If you’ve ever watched Ghost Hunters and thought “That Zak Bagans sure does come across like a smarmy cunt” then this will annoy you even more. Skip it. Don’t watch it. Even if you’re sick and tired.

Minus 5 stars.

Movie Reviews Reviews

The Resort is a bad movie from a best forgotten era

I won’t beat around the bush here, this movie sucked. It was everything that was awful about early 2000s horror movies. I had to pause and go back to the main screen after pressing play to make sure it was actually from 2021.