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Breakfast: Short Movie Review

You all remember Dinner, right? It’s a short film made by the talented Aleksandra Svetlichnaya. I wrote about it here. Breakfast is the follow-up. I wrote about the trailer here. And, while Breakfast is not yet available for public viewing, the Aleksandra gave me advanced access to see it. Can you believe it? Little ol’ me. She’s the best, you guys.

Dinner clocked in around 12 minutes. Breakfast decided that wasn’t long enough, so it clocks in at a shade over 26 minutes. Once again, we spend the bulk of our time with Dylan (Svetlichnaya), Oscar (Josh Kachnycz) and Hamilton (Ricardo Segarra). Dylan fills the role of Buffy, while Oscar and Hamilton are basically sub-replacement level Scoobies. I guess they’re Scrappies? I need to consult Joss Whedon on this important matter.

Oscar and Hamilton go to a comic shop and find an unfinished comic. Too dumb to heed the warnings of the shop owner – and apparently desperate to start the apocalypse – they steal the comic, run out of the shop and head into the woods.

Meanwhile, Dylan finds herself caught in a time loop. She wakes up, checks her phone, brushes her teeth, puts her hair in a ponytail and declares, “Okay. Breakfast time,” only to exit the bathroom and find a masked attacker. She defeats him, only to find herself waking up in her bed for the same routine over and over again.

What exactly is going on with the unfinished comic? Why is Dylan caught in a time loop? How will she escape? Will Oscar and Hamilton ever actually get a chance to eat breakfast?

These events set up the rest of the film, and it’s an absolute blast. Svetlichnaya’s love for Buffy is on full display here. It’s not totally in-your-face, but there are enough nods to get you thinking in that direction. And, of course, it’s impossible to see a blonde woman kicking faces and not think of Buffy, so my mind would have gone there even without the subtle nods.

Like Dinner, this is a really fun watch. Also like Dinner, this was made on next to no budget, so certain limitations come up. Still, it’s pretty easy to get past that. While I like how Oscar and Hamilton play off each other, I spend most of my time waiting for Dylan to come back and destroy people/monsters/demons.

Breakfast is a fun short with a tremendous ending. Make sure you stay for the scene in the credits. It had me rolling.

I’m a huge fan of what Svetlichnaya is doing. Can’t wait to see what she’s got in store next.


As it turns out, I’m not the only one excited about what Svetlichnaya is doing, as Breakfast is going to San Diego Comic Con 2017!

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Local Legend Podcast: The Witch of Pilot’s Knob

Something sinister roams Pilot’s Knob cemetery in Marion, Kentucky. Is it the ghost of a child witch or something much darker? Or both? It could be both.

Dusty lets his hair down and rambles for a bit about this relatively unknown legend.


If you have any legends you’d like Dusty to look at, hit him up on email or Twitter! And make sure you’re following Horror-Writers on Twitter as well.

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Twin Peaks Thoughts

I am 36 years old and had never seen a second of Twin Peaks until a few years ago.

Twin Peaks was one of those shows I had heard about long before I had actually seen it. I was 10 years old when it premiered, far too young to watch and certainly far too young to understand. As I got older, it was one of those shows I heard about a lot, but never watched. I’d be lying if I said the bulk of my “knowledge” didn’t come from The Simpsons.

Going off of those clips – along with the overall reputation – all I knew was that it was weird. No real point; just weird.

When I finally got around to watching it, I was shocked at how coherent it was. Yes, there was some weirdness, but it was a show driven by a cast of likable characters and a fairly simple plot: a girl was murdered in a quiet town and it was likely that someone in town killed her.

There is an oddness to the town itself, and some of the characters are strange – having a character simply known as “The Log Lady” speaks to that – but I didn’t find it hard to follow. The first season certainly had its share of odd moments, but it all had a purpose. There was a vision behind it. Looking at individual scenes on their own, it would be easy to dismiss the show as artsy-fartsy garbage. But, within the context of the show, I was amazed that all the pieces seemed to fit together. Trying to explain to someone else never ends well for me, but the show itself works.

It works for the first season, at least. I was immediately pulled into the world and fell in love with Agent Cooper and his wide-eyed love of everything he saw. Cooper lovingly saying”Douglas Firs,” with a huge smile on his face told me that this was a man I would absolutely love. Cooper drew me into the show, and the friendship he formed with Sheriff Truman cemented my love. Cooper had some odd ideas, but the two of them grounded me. There may have been weirdness with some of the residents of Twin Peaks – and Cooper certainly contributed to that weirdness at times – but Cooper and Truman gave me an anchor.

The show went off the rails a bit in the second season, and completely came unglued after Laura Palmer’s killer was revealed 7 episodes in. According to David Lynch, they never intended to reveal the killer, instead using the crime as a way to look at the darkness in this small town. The killer was not important; what the murder revealed was. After the killer was revealed, Lynch dropped out of the show and everything started falling apart.

My breaking point came when James – moping biker, love interest of many and my least favorite character – set off on his motorcycle and got entangled with a murder plot that served no purpose. I still enjoyed Cooper and Truman, but even their story got stranger. Lynch had a vision for the show and Mark Frost helped keep him grounded and put his nightmares into a coherent story. After Lynch left, people were left trying replicate his dark mind and the results were not good.

To Lynch, not every story needed an ending; not every question needed an answer. When we found out who Laura’s killer was, Lynch essentially posed a question: was this the work of a man possessed by a demon from another dimension, or was it simply the work of someone with a mental illness? When Lynch left, the story said that it was absolutely a man from another dimension so let’s go there and see everything and make sure none of it makes a ton of sense. They took Lynch’s warped vision and tried to make sense of it.

I still haven’t watched every episode. I lost interest when James took off on a solo mission. I watched the last episode to have some context for the new series, but there are episodes I will likely never watch. And I’m okay with that.

The first season is 8 episodes, and they are all incredible. More than that, they’re oddly accessible. If you’ve never watched Twin Peaks because you assume it’ll be too weird, I urge you to give it a shot. It certainly earns its reputation as a strange show, but it’s much easier to watch than I had assumed it would be. It is also beautifully shot and has a tremendous soundtrack.

If the show doesn’t grab you by episode 3, you’re probably fine to part ways. However, if you fall in love by that point, I urge you to at least watch through episode 7 of season 2. If you’re looking for one of the most harrowing scenes I’ve ever seen on TV, you’ll find it in that episode. After that, if it all gets to be a bit much, I give you my permission to cut and run.

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Beyond The Gates: Movie Review

Do you all remember VCR board games? You would have a board game in front of you and a tape in the VCR. You move your pieces around on the board and hit play on the VCR to give you instructions. More often than not, the instructions are either irrelevant or confusing.

I never played many of them myself, but I do remember playing a football VCR game that made so little sense I’m pretty sure I quit less than 15 minutes in.

Now imagine that you miraculously have a VCR in this day-and-age, and that a mysterious VCR board game titled “Beyond The Gates” came into your life. Also, you’re a grown man with a troubled brother and your father has recently gone missing and maybe this board game has something to do with it and also your fiancé is Brea Grant and Barbara Crampton is the talking head in the game and she is obviously reacting to the things you say and winning the game may lead the horrifying deaths of some friends/acquaintances.

That’s a lot to imagine. I apologize for putting you all in that spot.

I didn’t really know what to expect heading into this movie. I hadn’t heard much, but Brea Grant seems to choose good projects and Barbara Crampton is Barbara Crampton, so I figured it would at least be worth a watch.

To round us out on familiar faces, one of the brothers was played by Chase Williamson (John Dies At the End, The Guest), who was terrific. Justin Welborn (The Final Destination, V/H/S Viral, Justified) showed up as an alcoholic sleazebag, which should surprise no one who has ever seen him in anything ever.

I went into this film with zero expectations and thoroughly enjoyed it. It’s not perfect. The ending in particular felt extremely abrupt; like the entire movie was building towards a momentous climax, then just kind of shrugged its shoulders and said, “This will work.”

But that was really my only major issue with it. It didn’t blow me away, but I enjoyed watching it. The performances were a lot of fun and there were some great visuals and some creative kills. The director – Jackson Stewart – obviously has a lot of love for 80s horror, and that love showed up here. It never felt forced or a parody of itself. It felt fun. It felt natural.

This wasn’t the best movie I’ve ever seen, but it was a lot of fun. And that has to count for something.

Rating: 3.5/5

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Transmissions from Lexington Comic & Toy Convention 2017

Another year, another trek into the hallowed halls of Rupp Arena to aimlessly wander the floor of the Lexington Comic and Toy Convention. What wonders would I encounter this year? Would I see any familiar faces? Would I finally ask every former Power Ranger to the big dance? THE ANSWERS ARE INSIDE.

I got a couple press passes this year, so me and my wife – a great photographer and the best person in the world – decided to act super professional.

These are our professional faces.

We were greeted by the two-story-tall Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. He was still smiling, which meant those darn Ghostbusters hadn’t tried to turn him into marshmallow goo just yet. He was still living his best life. And now he was here, frozen in time and greeting all who entered the doors. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

As we descended to the main floor, we came across a set-up from Star Wars. Okay, so it may have been less a “set-up” and more a “thieving ring.” Any unsuspecting soul who found themselves lingering in the area were swarmed by a pack of Jawas. Within minutes, anything electronic on their person had been removed from their pockets while the Jawas fought among each other for possession of the object. Anyone who decided to try to reclaim what they felt was rightfully theirs was treated to the barrel of an AT-ST’s gun pointed in their direction.

Look man. If you’ve seen A New Hope, you know what the Jawas are about. You only have yourselves to blame.

Did we encounter any other Star Wars folks? We may have seen a few.

General Leia Organa and Rey were travelling around together and they happened to run into an Imperial Officer. Instead of fighting right there in the middle of the isle, they decided to put aside their differences and pose for a picture.

Shortly after this picture was taken, Leia and Rey escorted the officer to a dark corner and disposed of him. Imperial scum.

I’ve often said that Obi-Wan Kenobi and Xena: Warrior Princess would make a good couple. Now I have proof.

I originally thought that this was Old Man Luke Skywalker, but the robes indicated that he was Obi-Wan. THE ROBES NEVER LIE.

As you can see in this picture, we encountered the fearsome Kylo Ren with very few people around. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. He lit up his lightsaber and we briefly froze. We decided our best defense was to laugh at him, talk loudly about how he’s just a wannabe Vader and repeatedly referred to him as “Poor Lil’ Bennie.” He began sobbing and ran to the nearest restroom. Ain’t so bad.

Sure, Solo blindly took out one Boba Fett. But two? I don’t think so, bucko. Into the Sarlacc Pit with you while Boba Fett and the missus live a long, happy life together.

You know what I love about Deadpool in terms of cons? Versatility. Sure, you may occasionally get a Captain America or Batman with some variation (usually depending on what era they’re repping), but there’s not a huge difference in the look. But Deadpool? Anyone can be Deadpool and it would fit in with the character and the comics.

Take this little tyke. He’s just a tiny little Deadpool and he’s wearing Batman shoes. They’re not even in the same comic universe, but I believe that, somewhere, Deadpool owns a pair of Batman shoes.

Cowboy Deadpool. I have absolutely seen Deadpool in this outfit. Throw this version of Marshal Will Kane in High Noon and that movie would have been over in 10 minutes.

I love this one. Deadpool Dixon and Carl Grimes. Deadpool is rocking Daryl’s vest – down to the angel wings on the back – and crossbow, but is still very much Deadpool.

Spider-Man would look out of place in something like this, but Deadpool can pull it off.

It has been a while since I’ve watched an episode of The Walking Dead, so it’s quite possible Daryl Dixon is actually just Deadpool now. If that’s the case, I need someone to tell me so I can start watching that show again.

I don’t love the idea of Alice teaming up with the Umbrella Corporation, but I assume there’s a good reason behind it. Maybe they’re infiltrating Umbrella so a couple of her friends are wearing stolen outfits? They would pick out Alice in a hurry in that dress, but she’s got superpowers so I guess that doesn’t matter too much.

Whatever your reason, Alice, I trust your judgment completely.

Of everyone I ran into, this was my favorite costume. It’s all the little touches. The jagged horns that look like have been torn off. The cigar she kept with her at all times. The beer in the hand. It’s all wonderful. It’s all perfect.

The dragon in the background is giving some serious side eye in this picture. Hellboy (Hellgirl?) picked up on that and smacked him around a bit after I took this picture. Negan – big, bad Negan – just cowered in the corner as it happened. He may be the big man during a zombie apocalypse, but he’s useless as a dragon caretaker.

“I knew who I was this morning, but I’ve changed a few times since then.”

You don’t say.

I’m a sucker for a good themed costume, and this one is perfect. They have the banner. They have the coconuts. They have the Rabbit of Caerbannog. While walking the floor, I could occasionally hear the tapping of coconuts in the distance. When they exited the building, I heard the familiar call of “Run away! Run away!”

The children didn’t seem too interested in crime-fighting, so I walked by them with my guard down. I found out that was a mistake when they both took billy clubs and smashed them into my knees. While I writhed on the ground, the group calmly walked away, silently laughing to themselves.

Never underestimate the strength of children.

Even without one sock, this child is infinitely more incredible than I will ever be.

We found Lego Batman at the base of the escalator. For the life of me, I don’t know how he was able to actually get on the escalator. For all I know, he’s still standing down there.

There is a whole lot of awesomeness in this picture, but it’s Little Hulk that really kills me. Really going all-out with the flex there, Hulk. I would absolutely watch a movie starring this version of Hulk and Black Widow. She looks like she is absolutely ready to brawl.

We’ve got the Spider trio of Spider-Man, Spider-Gwen and Silk. We also have Ant Man and Wasp. And there, in the middle of it all, is Squirrel Girl. I honestly thought I would see a handful of Squirrel Girls, but we only ran into this one, and she was terrific. Always happy. She seemed genuinely thrilled to be there and to have people excited to take pictures of her. She may have actually been the real Squirrel Girl, stepped directly out of the pages of a comic and into our world.

Of course, I found it a little irresponsible for all these heroes to pose for a picture while Kylo Ren casually strolled behind them. Way to keep humanity safe, you guys. You’ve been through superhero training and this is the best you can do? Shame on you. Shame on you.

I can’t imagine that Ice Man outfit is comfortable, but it looks amazing. Fashion over function, my dear boy.

Let’s talk about the act of going to a comic convention for a second. This is a ridiculously cool costume. We took this picture in the main opening, so there’s a little bit of space of maneuver, but the main floor is packed. I have a hard enough time getting through some of the aisles as a regular human being. How does one make their way through the swarm of bodies when you are a god who has arms sticking out on either side of you? Do you just not go to the main floor? Or do you make peace with the fact that you’ll just smack a lot of people in the face with your extra arms and they’ll have to deal with it?

I’ve often thought about following one of these people around to see what they do, but I have a feeling I would just get really frustrated. That life isn’t for me. But for her? Man, she looks so cool she can do whatever she wants.

Even Blade has to take a break to check his messages every now and then. That’s probably how he finds out where all the vampires are. He just searches for #vampirerave and goes from there. Vampires never learn, man. Not everything has to go on social media, you know.

Bunch of suckheads.

I’ll grant you that I haven’t been to a ton of conventions, but I’ve been attending them for a few years now and this is the first time I’ve seen Green Goblin and Cyclops. Those are fairly well-known characters, so I was a bit shocked this was the first time I had seen either of them.

Kudos to Batman for repping the gun. It may be an unpopular opinion, but I’m perfectly fine with Batman shooting some supervillains from time-to-time. Call me crazy, but I don’t think The Joker is going to suddenly become reformed after his 1,000,000th trip to Arkham Asylum.

I’d watch a team-up of these two.

Okay, I’ll be honest. I would only watch it if Punisher killed the Power Ranger 5 minutes into the movie. The Power Rangers were a bit after my time so I have no love for them. I’m old. I can’t help it.

“I can’t see me lovin’ nobody but you / For all my liiiiiiiiiife…”

The moment Michael realizes he left Jason chained at the bottom of the lake.

Where else can you see Doctor Strange riding an escalator behind a T. Rex? I mean, besides my dreams every night.

We only got a chance to attend one panel, but it was a fun one. We’re pretty big fans of iZombie, so we had to make sure we caught this one. Sadly, Rose McIver had to pull out of the convention, but we got to hear some great stories from Aly Michalka and Malcolm Goodwin.

Every year I say I’m going to go to more panels, and every year I forget. I’ve never been to a bad one, though. If you go to a convention, always make sure to do some research ahead of time and try to get to at least a couple panels.

 

Last but certainly not least, there is always a lot of great art. If I had unlimited funds and wall space, I would walk out of every convention with a truck full of art. Some of it is mass manufactured, but there is always a ton of unique, handmade art.

This Peach/Mario take on Bride of Frankenstein and Frankenstein’s Monster is one of my favorite things I’ve seen. I’m still kicking myself for not buying it.

I did walk out with this piece of art, though. We have a daughter who is getting ready to turn two and we’re looking for art for her room. I’ve been looking for Batgirl and Spider-Gwen stuff, because I’d love to get her started on some strong, female superheroes. As it so happened, Rico Renzi – colorist for the Spider-Gwen series – was at the convention this year. I stopped by his table and this immediately grabbed my eye. Rico was incredibly nice and gracious, and now I have this nice piece of art of start my daughter’s collection.


Conventions are always exhausting but we always have a blast. I’m already looking forward to the next one.